Monday, July 30, 2007

sorry, i don't speak crazy.

W seems to be entering the terrible 2s. I really can't complain because he's an angel compared to some of the other almost 2 and 2 year olds I've seen around. But his frustration level is nearing it's peak... at least I pray it's nearing it's peak and not beginning to peak. He's at that stage where he knows exactly what he wants, but doesn't have the words or the way to tell you what he wants. So he communicates with pointing and grunts of approval or disapproval. Much like I communicate when I'm out in the German markets.

Yesterday, W was hungry but didn't want anything I gave him. As a last resort, I got out 2 little bowls and I put goldfish in one and olives in the other. He immediately mixed them. Then the goldfish were stained with olive juice and started to expand because they were wet. He didn't want them anymore so I figured if I separated the olives and the goldfish, he would be happy again. WRONG! He didn't want them separated and I paid the price. How was I supposed to know the logical thing to do was so far from being the right thing to do?

How am I supposed to know that granola bars taste delectable dipped in ketchup? And that removing the ketchup from his vicinity would cause the same reaction as me telling him that Elmo was hit by a bus and would never grace the TV again?

Wouldn't you think that it doesn't matter what sock goes on what foot? They are both red socks; same style, same color, same size. But, apparently, the first red sock needs to go on the right foot. It's not worthy of being on the left foot. And of course, the first shoe needs to go on the left foot and not the right. That's just how it needs to be. So there.

It's bad enough that I didn't understand that the kleenex has to be thrown away in the kitchen garbage and NOT the bathroom garbage.

I can't win anymore, and that's fine. I'm good at picking my battles and I'm trying really hard not to let it bother me. I just wish I could speak his language. Only for the next few months, until he can speak mine.

Friday, July 27, 2007

enlighten me

If someone hits a home run, then why do they have to run the bases?

Thursday, July 26, 2007

i'm no martha, so what?!

A couple of days ago, W and I were partaking of our high fructose corn syrup infused breakfast at the dining room table. Seriously, why does granola have to contain HFCS? I guess if I wasn't so cheap, I could find some without it... at least my intentions are good, right?

Anyway, W kept pointing outside and saying "plane" over and over. I didn't hear a plane so I just brushed it off. But he kept insisting there was a plane in the sky. So I looked out the window to see what he was pointing at.

Turns out that "plane" was really a dead bug on the window. Pretty sure I killed that bug at least a week ago. Pretty sure it's time to wash the windows. Especially because around 4pm, when the light is just right, you can see a perfect imprint of his little face and hands from when he figured out that if he pressed his nose against the glass, he could make his nose run and sometimes make boogers come out. Life is so much fun when you're a 2 year old boy.

Monday, July 23, 2007

currently loving (07-23-07)

The Sneaky Chef is an awesome book! I didn't buy it because I have problems getting my kid to eat fruits and veggies. Honestly, I couldn't care less if W just wanted to eat ketchup dipped in ketchup with ketchup on the side. At least he's getting good antioxidants. I bought the book because I'm a food snob and refuse to eat the produce that is available to us here. That is one of the side effects of growing up in one of the most agriculturally rich areas in the world. Anything less than perfect is just not ok with me and will not go, willingly, into my body. But I figured if I made the sub par produce invisible, I could trick my body into accepting it. It worked!

This book is great because it teaches you how to hide, and get extra veggies and fruits into your family's meals. Plus, the recipes in the book are healthy versions of classics that even picky eaters will eat. I have had to modify most of the recipes to our tastes, but I do that with any recipe, anyway. It's really quite easy to add the purees into recipes that are already our favorites.

If you have a picky eater or are too lazy to cook veggies every night, check this book out. For a preview, here's the website for the book: There is a lot of great information there.

on my list (07-23-07)

If you're ever on expedia or cheaptickets looking for a flight and come across one from US Airways that's a good price, run. RUN far away and fast. Pay the extra $200 for a ticket on another airline. It will be worth it in the end. That $200 extra that you pay will save you from missing your connecting flights and having to stay overnight in strange and sometimes shady hotels, ripped and broken luggage, lost luggage and general feelings of anger and hatred towards a company that I pray goes bankrupt soon.

A month after we bought the ticket on US Air, this report came out. I should have canceled the ticket then and there. It was a dismal indicator of what was to come for my husband.

" Among airlines, US Airways Group Inc. finished the worst in May for on-time arrivals, at 67.9 percent. Its Flight 1569 from Boston to Philadelphia was the most-delayed in the U.S. in May, running late 96 percent of the time.

``We know we need to do better,'' spokesman Morgan Durrant said. The carrier, No. 7 in the U.S. by passenger traffic, began a customer-service push in March that includes hiring more workers and upgrading self-service kiosks, he said. "

Really? REALLY?! You know you need to do better? Well, no freaking kidding. How about starting with hiring people who actually know how to load the luggage onto the plane, without ripping it to shreds. Then, you should focus on those people actually putting the luggage on the correct flight. Send them a memo informing them that the airport code FRA is Frankfurt and NOT France. Once you do that, then you should tell your planners to figure out a way to plan routes that don't make you late 1/3 of the time. People don't pay $1,200 a ticket in hopes that you ruin their vacation by making them miss their connecting flights, forcing them to travel for an extra day. They pay you $1,200 a ticket for you to get them to their vacation destination rested and ready to play. Are you going to give us the day of paid vacation back? I didn't think so. How is it freaking fair that we give you money for a service that you didn't even provide? It hurts. It really REALLY hurts.

What's really sad is that you began this "customer-service push" in March. It's now July. If this is the New and Improved US Air, you've got bigger problems that you can handle. Do yourselves a favor and sell your souls to Delta or United. They have problems too, but at least they can get a customer to their destination on time 84% and 75% of the time, respectivly. Morons.

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

omg! like, totally!

Today I had a wicked blond moment. My cousin and I were driving back from IKEA and I had the TomTom plugged in to tell me where to go, just in case I suddenly became an idiot and forgot. As we were coming to an interchange, the annoying British woman came over the loud speaker and told me my exit was coming up.

At the time, I was looking at the sign above the freeway and it said the exit was 2000 meters away. Then I looked at the TomTom and it was saying the exit was 2 km away. And for a brief moment, I tried to figure out how many meters were in a kilometer...

That's almost as bad as the day I spent no less than 20 minutes convinced that the word "Of" was, in fact, spelled "Ov".

You know that old saying that blonds have more fun? Well, they aren't really having more fun as much as they are giving the illusion they are... because they are confused so much of the time... it just makes us look like we are having more fun... I'm really not an idiot, I swear.

Monday, July 16, 2007

slow on the uptake

If you're looking for more riveting posts from me, I'm sorry to say I'm going to be hit and miss this week. By the time Sunday comes around, I will have driven to and from Frankfurt 4 times in less than 9 days... 3+ hours each way.

Plus, it hit 102 degrees today and because we don't have air conditioning, we will be seeking refuge from the heat elsewhere.

So that's pretty much the long way of saying that things are going to be slow around here and that I won't be updating this as often as I should.

Saturday, July 14, 2007

that's how we roll, yo.

My husband and I are not planners. Most of the big things we do are spontaneous and impulsive. 3 months after we started dating (again) we decided to get married. Within 25 days, the wedding was planned and pulled off. 4 months later, we had to take our perfectly good Jetta in for some routine maintenance and we ended up leaving the dealership with a brand new Passat. We didn't even need a new car but we saw one we liked and got a good deal, so what the heck?

It's just how we do things around here. So it was only fitting that on Wednesday morning, at 8:19 am, only 23 hours before my husband was supposed to leave for the States, I decided that W should go with him. When I brought the idea up to my husband, I said, "I'm thinking W should go with you" and he said "Yeah, ok, that's fine". I thought he answered too quickly for agreeing to take a 22 month old active toddler on 30 hours worth of flights, 3 hours worth of layovers and 6 days worth of jet lag, so I had to be sure we were on the same page. We were certainly not. He thought I was talking about him taking W to the store. But within 15 minutes, he agreed that it was a good idea and 30 minutes later, we had it all worked out.

Our magnificent plan turned into a bit of a nightmare, as they missed their connecting flight and ended up having to stay the night in Philadelphia. But that ended up being ok because it gave my husband a chance to recharge the pacifier that is better known as the portable DVD player. He also taught W how to say "puppy" which, in his book, made it all worth it.

Now the boys are off having fun in California, going to baseball games, the beach, eating In and Out, eating REAL Mexican food and Thai food (well, my husband is, not W) and visiting friends and family. I want to be with them so badly but that isn't possible, thanks to the credit limit on our credit card and the fact the State Department messed up CB's passport, saying she had something in common with Shilo Jolie Pitt (besides both of them having incredibly hot fathers) and was born in Africa, instead of Germany... but that's a story for another day.

Pray my boys have a good time and have a safe and restful flight home. Those of you who get to see my son, please gawk at him lovingly and then write me to tell me what an amazing child he is and what a fantastic job we have done raising him. I need a self esteem boost and validation.

Thursday, July 12, 2007

some things are universal

Today we went to the Frankfurt Airport to drop my husband off for his trip home. That airport is huge and I have to say, even worse than O Hare, especially since they are doing construction. There are people EVERYWHERE and being the peak of the summer tourist season only makes it CrAzY insane.

After we said our disgustingly sappy goodbyes, I had to feed the baby so I searched far and wide for a bench or a chair to sit on. I finally found one about 32 miles from my car but it was next to a family that had 2 pre-teen sons. I wasn't sure how they would feel about boobs (I'm sure the boys didn't care) but I had to feed her, so I sat down anyway. They boys were playing Game Boy and tripping each other and giving each other wet willies and flicking boogers at each other. It was great fun to watch... only because my children have a long way to go till they reach that stage, thank goodness. It was also interesting to see this because they didn't speak any English, or any language I had ever been exposed to, for that matter. And here I was thinking that only bratty American kids engaged in that kind of behavior.

At one point, the younger of the two was being really loud and the mom shushed him and told him the baby next to him was sleeping. How I understood that, I'm not sure, but it was clear as day. I smiled and told her it was ok and she told me that he was too loud anyway. She still wasn't speaking English and I certainly wasn't speaking her language, but we understood each other.

Then a snotty woman walked by with her fake Louis Vuitton luggage, or as my friend T would say, Lewi Baton luggage, and she was walking her little wiener dog on a pink rhinestone leash. The younger of the two boys started cracking up and yelling, "Mom!! A sausage dog! A sausage dog!" The snotty woman got offended and gave us a dirty look, which made all of us laugh amongst ourselves.

It was just funny that none of us spoke the same language, but we all understood what was going on and it was refreshing to know that some things are just universal. It makes me realize that the world really isn't so big.

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

currently loving (07-10-07)

Mommy and Me nursing necklaces are a life saver. These awesome little things are designed to keep feeding babies from getting distracted as they eat. And they work like a charm. CB loves to hold my hand as she's eating but I can't always give her a hand to hold so this is a great substitute.

I wear mine almost all waking hours and it is great to have when we are at the store or someplace boring because W loves to play with it, too. He has his own fishy kind but I don't always remember to pack it. I've gotten lots of complements on mine, the Mother Earth necklace, and no one can tell it's made of plastic beads.

Here's the website for the store:

If you do end up ordering one, enter WCB0507 when you check out so I can get credit for a referral... cause I'm cheap and want another one for free!

on my list (07-10-07)

I cannot stand yahoo mail. The old version always delivered me messages 2-3 days after they were sent and the new version is just plain annoying. They tried to make it like google mail, but they failed, and I hate it. That's why I've switched to gmail and use yahoo as my email for buying stuff because I couldn't care less if I get junk mail in that account. Yahoo mail sucks. It's on my list.

Monday, July 9, 2007

i need to get out more

In this house, we've seen the movie "Cars" about 247 times. Both my husband and I have memorized the entire movie and our son knows the scenes and can tell you what is coming next. And I said I wasn't going to ever let my kids watch TV... I say this as he's screaming at me because the Simpsons went to a commercial and he thinks it's over. To him, that is the same as puppies dying or feeding him only spinach; Horrible. The end of happiness. Judge me. I dare you. I've definitely secured my place in mommy hell.

I'll admit it, the TV is on too much. But there's nothing else to do and often, it's my only connection to the outside world. I have my shows and since we don't have TIVO, I have to watch them when they are on, or it's a bad day in this house.

For awhile, I was completely fascinated with the Amazing Race. That is a show my husband and I could win. He could do all of the navigating and eat all of the nasty stuff and I could do all of the nagging and crying. I'd be the "dramatic flare" all producers dream of. We could win, I know it.

Over Memorial Day, we took a trip to Holland. Our 7 hour drive turned into a 12 hour drive... the kind of drive that is just long enough to make you think you are losing your mind. It was about hour 5 when I started to lose it. Every mile we drove was being "narrated" by the narrator and host of the Amazing Race. All I could hear was "Teams must now drive 146 km to the nearest autohof. Here, they must fill their car and find food for their kids before they freak out. Once they have completed this task, they will receive their next clue". It was annoying but slightly entertaining.

Before the Amazing Race aired here, America's Next Top Model was on. That was dangerous. I have to admit, while I was home alone and the kids were sleeping, I would practice my cat walk, just in case. Now, I could never EVER win that show... well, not unless they were looking for that "never does her hair, wears the same clothes 2 days in a row, is lucky to brush her teeth once a day, has bags under her eyes every morning and sports love handles" kind of look. Yeah, I won't be on that show anytime soon. But that doesn't stop me from wondering what I would be labeled as. Would I be the matriarch, or the witch, or the angry one that every one gangs up on? Or all of the above?

Sometimes, when I'm really bored, I make up a sitcom in my head... oh my, I'm sounding way too much like a dork. I must stop before I truly embarrass myself.

Friday, July 6, 2007

so much to do...

For the next few days, I won't be online much. I have so much to do, it's not even funny. This house is too much for me. Even if I spend 4 hours cleaning it one day, it needs to be cleaned again 2 days later. So, forgive me for the lack of updated posts, in advance. My floors thank you!

Thursday, July 5, 2007

and i thought i had problems...

Today we went to the commissary and we ended up wandering through the aisles behind a dad who pushing his twin girls in a stroller while his oldest daughter was walking next to them. They were buying food with another guy, who I'm assuming was the dad's friend.

At one point, they were picking out taco sauce and the oldest daughter asked the friend why he was staying at their house and the friend replied, "Because my wife's a B**** and won't let me come home".

Well, dude, after hearing you talk to a 7 year old like that, I can't imagine why on earth your wife won't let you into the house. You're a winner, that's for sure.

Wednesday, July 4, 2007

4th of july, german style

Normally, the 4th of July is my favorite holiday. There's something so nostalgic about it. Something so comforting about grilling burgers and eating cobbler, followed by setting off massive colorful explosions in the driveway.

But this 4th of July is different. I'm wearing jeans and a long sleeve shirt and even (gasp!) socks! I've never worn socks on the 4th of July! I've never even worn pants on the 4th of July. Normally I'm wearing flip flops and a swimsuit and cover up. But not this year... this year it's a whopping 58 degrees and pouring down rain.

We did grill, though. My poor husband was out there flipping the steaks while dodging lightning bolts and raindrops that were falling so hard, I thought the noise was coming from our computer speakers. I should have just made beef stew with the steaks, instead.

There won't be any fireworks here tonight. Mainly because it doesn't get dark until 10:30 and by then, us losers are fast asleep. And also because no matter how hard I try, I can't get a wet fuse to light, without illegal amounts of lighter fluid. I don't feel like going to jail.

So here, it's just another day. I hope all of you have fun for us! Keep in mind what the day really means and stay safe. If you think of it, light some fireworks for us and have a shot of something good in our name.

Monday, July 2, 2007

currently loving (07-02-07)

Baking soda. I love baking soda. I know what you are thinking... "Ok, freak show, it's time to put down the hookah and walk away slowly." But seriously, baking soda is AWESOME! Not only is it beneficial for cooking, and can be used as toothpaste AND can eliminate even the nastiest of odors, but it's also a fantastic cleaning agent. The best part: it's stinkin CHEAP!

I use it a couple of times a week to deep clean my stainless steal sink and it can get that sink cleaner than any other product on the market. It picks up the nasty grime the other cleaners leave behind. I also use it to clean the bathtubs, sinks, stove top and even stubborn stains on the tile floors. It makes me feel so happy when I see everything so shiny and clean. And it can even be used to take crayon marks off the walls!

Here are some websites that show the many fabulous uses of baking soda:


on my list (07-02-07)

How is it July, already?! Time is going by way too fast! Tomorrow, I will have been married for 3 years! It certainly doesn't feel like it's been 3 years since we planned and pulled off our wedding within 25 days of deciding to get married. I guess it might feel like 3 years if we hadn't been apart for half of our marriage...

Since it's July, that means my son will be 2 in 2 months! I can't have a 2 year old already. He was just a little baby! It's not fair. I was trying to clean out our hard drives a couple of days ago and I was going through all of the pictures from when he was a baby and I realized how much I miss baby W. It's so sad to me that he's never going to be a baby again.

I hate time. I hate getting older. I hate that it all happens too fast, before I'm ready to move ahead and let go.