well, that was fun

And by fun, I mean completely pointless. Today I had to take CB to the allergist. I didn't really want to go in the first place because I already knew exactly what was going to happen, and I knew it was going to be a waste of time. But we made the 45 minute trip anyway. When we got in the office, we went through the requisite badgering from the receptionist about how my referral wasn't complete and how my insurance wasn't going to cover any testing and --sigh-- she was going to have to actually get on the phone and talk to an insurance representative to get this figured out. I offered to call myself but --sigh-- she said she would do it. It was her job, after all. Blah blah blah. Kiss mine.

Then we got called back into the room and the nurse was walking so fast in front of us that I lost sight of her and didn't know where to go. After peeking into at least 12 doors, I finally found her and she had the nerve to ask me what took me so long. Well, I don't know, perhaps my choice of shoes (3 inch wedges) and the fact that I was carrying a 20 pound diaper bag and a 14 pound baby had something to do with it? Sorry I couldn't keep up with your caffeine and diet pill filled body.

After the normal, "sit here and the doctor will be in shortly" speech, I got to wait. And wait. And wait. All while the doctor was right outside my door talking to his colleague about the cocktail party he was going to attend tonight and how he was only going to have one glass of wine and a few appetizers. And then the colleague asked if the doctor was going to bring his wife... and the doctor quickly replied, "no, she thinks I'm working late". So he either hates her or he's doing the hipity dipity with someone on the side. Perhaps the fen-phen addicted nurse?

Finally he comes in and sits down. He was clearly in a hurry because while I was answering every question he asked, he would interrupt me and ask another question that didn't even have to do with what I was saying. After getting to month 5 of CB's history, he completely cut me off. I knew we were boring, but I didn't realize just how uninteresting we really were. As he was walking out of the room, I quickly spat out the history from month 5 to month 8, which I thought he should know because they were the most crucial. But apparently, it doesn't matter that she can't keep down any solid foods and that if I eat anything with any kind of dairy, she screams and cries for 3 straight days because, "that sounds like a GI problem".

After he left, Miss Fen-phen USA came back in the room with a tray of 40 pins and magic potions to stick in my daughter's back. Apparently, the receptionist found the energy to get up and call the insurance company to be sure the testing was approved. After poking CB in the back 40 times, the nurse left the room, as CB was hysterical, and said "be sure you keep her on her stomach for the next 20 minutes and don't touch her back". Um, that's information that would have been useful before you turned her into a dart board. Thanks, though.

So for 15 minutes, I tried to keep my irate child on her stomach while trying to console her without touching her back. Let me explain something: my daughter HATES to be on her stomach. She flat our refuses it. This is the reason why she doesn't roll and why she doesn't even attempt to crawl. She finally got so tired from screaming so hard that she fell asleep. It broke my heart to see her so upset and I seriously regretted even going.

When the nurse came back in to check her back for any reactions, which there weren't any, which I knew there wouldn't be, she wiped her back down with alcohol. Wouldn't you think that putting rubbing alcohol into an open wound would hurt? Yeah, it did. And the screaming began again.

Then the doctor came back in to tell me the obvious, which was that she doesn't have any of the type of allergies that can be diagnosed with tests, but she might have allergies that can't be diagnosed with testing. So I either needed to put her on the $2.10 per every 5 ounce bottle of formula or keep up with the elimination diet. He didn't seem very optimistic about me continuing on the elimination diet because it apparently makes my life too difficult. I guess no one believes me that it doesn't bother me too much now because I'm used to it and the results are pretty awesome. Baby is less fussy and actually sleeping, I haven't had a headache or a stomach ache in almost a month and I'm well on my way to looking like a Justin Timberlake era Britney Spears. Although, admittedly, there are times that I would just like a bite of chocolate or something with red dye #2 in it. Those are the times that I nibble on my rice crackers and imagine they are something delectable.

Anyway, we left with no more information than we came with and 40 pen marks and pin pricks on the baby's back. It was a pretty pointless day that will cost the insurance more than it should. I knew it was going to happen this way but went because I feel like we need to cover all our bases, just to be sure. I guess I will just have to take my traveling circus elsewhere to get some answers.

it's finally happening

And, I'm sad. My bald headed baby boy is getting hair. Enough hair, in fact, to have some stick straight up from the static when we were jumping on the trampoline today. Sigh. I think it's time I take him to get his first hair cut. It's SO long!! You think I'm kidding?


See that stuff sticking up? That's hair. (If you can't make out the picture, let me explain it to you: His forehead is resting on the trampoline and I took the picture from behind him. So you are looking down at his back and the back of his head.)

Honestly, I wonder what they would do if I took him in to get a trim. It would make me laugh to watch them try to come up with a polite way to tell me I was a nut case. Compared to how much hair he's had for the past 2 years, this is a HUGE deal and it makes me sad. I like my bald baby and I can't imagine how he's going to look with hair. Although, I am really curious to see what color it will be... Maybe this will help us figure out who is daddy is, once and for all. JUST KIDDING!!

mr. habla

I'm getting some feedback that the giraffe is missed. I love that giraffe, as does W. So much so that he too asks for him whenever I am sitting at the computer. For some reason, he named him "Habla" and this is what he now calls every giraffe he sees. No matter how many times we tell him it's a giraffe and not an "habla", he still says "habla". I have no idea... but this is coming from the kid who runs around the house saying "hola" non stop. He's never even watched Dora, but seems to be obsessed with Spanish. Maybe it's the California in him? Not too sure.

Unfortunately, I don't have Mr. Halba saved on this computer. He's on M's computer, alone in Germany. Poor guy. Sorry!

things i didn't miss about the states

Tract Homes. Infomercials. Drivers driving while talking on their cell phones. Drivers driving while putting on makeup. People smacking their kids in public. People screaming at their kids in public."Lawyers" who advertise on TV. Lifetime Television. KFC. Annoying radio advertisement jingles. The obsession with beverages bottled in plastic. Speed limits. People who want you to hear the conversation they are having with other people (or maybe people in Germany do this too, but I could never understand them so I never noticed??) Shopping mall parking lots. Over sized SUVs taking up the entire road when there is only one person in the darn thing that seats 8. Stop signs EVERYWHERE! The Germans do it right with the yield signs. Added one more: People who return stuff to Babies R Us that they have CLEARLY used for a long time and expect Babies R Us to resell it and people to actually buy their drool infested, booger ridden stuff because they figure "We only used it for 3 months, I want my money back!" NASTY!

tee he he

Precious cargo, for sure!

because you asked...

I haven't had enough time with this new stroller to know if I truly love it, but I do like it a lot better than my Graco Duo Glider. The Duo Glider is the stretch limo of double strollers. I often find myself wishing I had an "extra long load" sign on my butt when I'm out with that thing because I can hear people cussing me out under their breath as they get stuck behind my slow self. Since it's so long, it's hard to steer, especially because I put my heavy child in the front. I do that so he can't kick his sister in the head like I'm sure he would if I put him in the back and her in the front. The Duo Glider does have some features that I really like, though, including a HUGE basket and large sun canopies to cover the kids in the rain and bright sun.

But I was tired of the Duo Glider, and Graco, and knew I wanted something different once I got to CA. You may be wondering why I needed stroller #6 in the first place. Well, that's because I packed so much junk to come to CA, that there wasn't any more room in the car for me to take an everyday stroller. I was barely able to fit my double jogger in the car without the back door exploding. As much as I love the double jogger, it's definitely not a stroller to use in the mall or the doctor's office, nor is it a stroller to use in the airport... lesson learned. But there was no way I was going to leave the jogger in Germany for 6+ months. I paid way too much for it to just sit there and collect dust.

So when I got to America, the second thing I did was go to Babies R Us to get a stroller because I needed one right away. I knew I wouldn't have a lot of choices but I was kind of surprised to find that my choices would be between something really flimsy, something really ugly, another Duo Glider, something totally unpractical and this stroller: the Quattro Tour Duo


I chose the Quattro Tour Duo. Even though I didn't want another Graco, it was, by far, the best stroller there that didn't cost $399. I LOVE my Quattro Tour LXI that I used before I had CB so I figured I would like this stroller too, and I do. It's easy to maneuver, has a lot of storage, lots of cup holders, is comfortable for the kids, folds decently small for a double stroller and is pretty. The only draw back is that the front sun shade canopy thing is much too small and that the stroller is heavy, but really, what full size double stroller isn't 28+ pounds? W likes the his seat so much better than the seat in the Duo Glider. He thinks the cup holders are joy sticks or steering sticks and acts like he is driving the stroller when I'm pushing it. (With his big white bald head, he looks like some Star Wars character steering a space ship through a meteor field.) I think he really likes the fact that there isn't a bar in front of him and isn't "confined". He hasn't thrown one fit while in it. He was always throwing fits in the Duo Glider. That alone makes this stroller so much nicer than the Duo Glider.

I think it was a good investment. At least I hope it was. I'm pretty sure I'll be happy with it for awhile... at least until the next new and improved thing comes out...

we made it

We are now back in the United States. It's so weird to be back. I have never been away from "home" for that long before. In all of my travels and moving, the longest I'd ever been away from California was only a few months. I have to admit, I'm suffering from a bit of culture shock. I had to go to Babies R Us today and I just about passed out from all of the choices. I should have brought a snack with me because I didn't realize it would take me so long to pick out a stroller (yes, another one! This makes stroller #6) and a bottle brush. There must have been 8 different bottle brushes to choose from. Apparently, a bottle brush is not just a bottle brush. I felt like I was buying a car. It was ridiculous.

The other thing that is hard to get used to is the stupid speed limit. I often found myself going 85-90 mph on the freeway because that's what I'm used to. Here, not so much. Y'all are slow!! At one point, I saw a CHP officer hiding on the other side of an overpass and had just enough time to slow down. While I was slowing down, though, I was deciding what card I was going to pull if I got pulled over. Would it be the dumb/ flirty blond card? No, that one doesn't work when you have babies in the back seat. Would it be the pitty card? No, I can't cry on demand anymore. Or, would it be the "I'm used to driving in Germany and haven't even been in America for 24 hours. My foot doesn't understand what a speed limit is anymore" card? That one was sadly the best excuse I could come up with. Thankfully, I didn't need to use it. He found someone much more exciting to pull over instead.

I've hardly had a second to sit down in the past 3 days. The 11 hours of flying doesn't count as sitting. It's exhausting. Both babies did really well and I am proud of them. Now I'm tired but not really jet lagged. I guess the way to prevent jet lag is to be so sleep deprived that your body is used to sleeping 3 hours every 24 hours. I don't feel any different than I did before we left. I don't recommend that jet lag prevention, though. It's brutal.

Now I get to catch up on everything here. The next few days will be just as busy as the past 2-3 days have been and then things will hopefully calm down so I can get back to doing fun things like taking pictures of my kids and pouring my cold soul out to all of you.

liberation

As I was standing in front of my 3 closets trying to figure out what to pack for CA a few mornings ago, I realized I hate my clothes. 1/3 of my wardrobe is "work" clothes. That third I actually like but can never wear these days and haven't worn in almost 4 years. I keep them because they are beautiful Ann Taylor suits and pants, Ralph Lauren skirts and perfectly tailored shirts and one day, I might have to go to a funeral or back to work, and then I will wear them again. Another 1/3 of my wardrobe is my "uniform" which consists of my every day clothes. These are the most boring clothes known to man: 8 long sleeved T-shirts, 12 "Old Navy Standard" tank tops that the color is quickly fading from, a few stretched out sweaters, 8 pairs of jeans that are either too small or too big and 4 pairs of capris... the only thing good about those things is that you only have to shave your legs to your calf. The other 1/3 of my wardrobe is from high school. These things were in style 8-10 years ago. And what an unfortunate style it was.

I'm not sure you could even classify them in a "style". 10 years ago was the pre-Britney/ Christina era, when baby-doll tees were hot and you wore them with flared (yuck!) jeans. But then, 2 years later, shirts were super short and pants were super low and that was HOT! It didn't matter if your stomach was too big and stuck out showing some nasty skin. If you wanted to be like the cool girls, that is what you wore. Even if you didn't want to wear this type of clothing, you didn't have a choice because that is all that was sold, unless you shopped in your mom's clothing section, and we all know that's just not an option for a 17 year old.

I don't know why I never got rid of these clothes. I never liked wearing them but I boxed them up and moved with them at least 12 times over the past 8 years. All of the movers have always laughed about the amount of clothing I have. I tried justifying it by telling them that everything I owned was always hung up because I was too poor to own a dresser so it just looked like I had a bunch of clothes.

So a few days ago, after my revelation that I hate my wardrobe, I decided to try on some of my old clothes, just to see if I would ever wear them again. After putting on 4 shirts, and laughing so hard I almost fell over, I decided it was time to pitch em. I would donate them and let someone who actually might look good in these things wear them. Honestly, though, I'm not sure anyone could look good in these.

Five garbage bags full later... my closet and my mind have been liberated. Gone are the things I don't wear and I'm ready to welcome some clothes from this century into my life. Shopping spree, here I come! Maybe I'll even branch out and get something different than my uniform of long sleeved shirts and tank tops. The angels may sing if I do that. Now that I have room for new clothes, I won't feel bad because I won't have to move my husband's clothes to the third floor closets each time I bring home something new and maybe I can even bring some of his stuff back to our closet. Funny thing is that I'm not sure he's ever noticed that I moved some of his stuff upstairs.

Edited to add my cousin's hilarious response via email:

"...Personally, I think that you should have kept some of those clothes so you could put them on and pretend you still live in a Federline-free world."

And I couldn't agree with her more. Those were the good days. Poor Brit Brit. K-fed sucks and ruined everything! But I will save that for another blog post. Thanks for making me laugh, Em.

funny how that happens

Isn't it amazing how you can be in a good mood and then you get a phone call or an email that just ruins it? I'm frustrated with myself for letting people get under my skin, but sometimes I just can't help it. And when it happens 2 times in 3 days, then it's just a party. I'm so irritated with people who can't see past their own nose and people who don't realize that in trying to make everyone happy, they are actually hurting more people in the process. I would like to scream, but I can't. I just have to paint my stupid smile on my stupid face because if I crack, I fear my whole world is going to crumble.

AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Needless to say, I don't have anything fun to talk about right now. I wish I did, but I don't. It would just be more complaining about how tired, hungry and stressed out I am and how I have way to much to do, but not nearly enough time to do it and that's not fun. I don't even have a funny link or picture to leave you with. I must be in a bad mood! Maybe if I get some sleep, or watch Dr. Phil to see how much worse off people are than I am, I will feel better.