Saturday, April 12, 2008

poop

My week can be summed up in one word: poop. It all culminated Wednesday when I got stuck behind a port-a-potty truck for 10 miles. Not one of the trucks that hauls the clean port-a-potties to a new location. No, I wouldn't be that lucky. I got stuck behind the port-a-potty truck with the over-sized tank on it that gets filled with the port-a-potty contents when they are full. Dis. Gus. Ting. I was gagging. Dry heaving. My eyes were watering.

It stunk so bad that I got to the point where I was wishing I was driving in a field that had just been fertilized with chicken manure. If you have never experienced chicken manure, you have no idea what you have been missing out on. That stuff is toxic and should be considered as such. Haz-mat masks and suits should be provided to people who have to be near the stuff. It's so bad it makes you feel like the mucous membranes in your sinuses are frying every time you breathe in. All of you farm girls can holla back at me because I know you know exactly what I'm talking about.

Normally there are places where I could have passed the toilet truck but on Wednesday, everyone and their half brother's cousin's dog's groomer decided to go in the opposite direction I was going, so there was no place to pass. I could have pulled over and waited it out, but the lavatory truck was going so slow that I would have caught up to it eventually so it wasn't worth it.

My entire week has been like that. Me in a confined space, surrounded by crap. If you were to add a lot of snot to the tank o' poo, then you would get a really accurate look into my week. We are a walking cesspool around here. Between the 3 of us, we have 4 ear infections (W and I both have 2), a sinus infection (me), 3 disgustingly goopy eyes (W and CB), 1 super sexy raspy voice (me), 4 lungs that are rattling (W and CB) and gallons of snot production. It's so gross. Thankfully, none of us are contagious because all of this has been brought on by allergies, but we are extremely attractive.

7 comments:

Jenn said...

Oh girl, I have had that week. Minus the poo truck - that's a new one. Hope you all feel better soon.

Sarah said...

Lovely, Jo, just lovely! I think that just about brought back my morning sickness! LOL
I've definitely had the snot week myself several times- but haven't yet had the joy of riding behind a poo truck! ack! disgusting!
hope your week improves! and hey, at least if you are congested, the poo truck smell was slightly muffled- could you imagine if you were breathing clearly?!

clanelder said...

EEEEEEEEW! Would you just pull back on your writing skills. This was just a bit TMI for me! Now I'm feeling queasy and having serious allergy symptoms...all because I read your blog.
You gotta figure that this coming week will be better...I HOPE! Hugs

JoAnna said...

Oh Puh-lease! If I have to suffer, so do the rest of you. That's what friendship is all about ;p

kidletsmum said...

Gecmis olsun. (That's Turkish for get well soon.) Though you're not actually sick, so I don't know if it applies.
In any case, I hope this passes much faster than the poo truck was moving.

supercommonname said...

pooooooooooooop. and i will so holla back at you about the glory that is chicken manure. i was housesitting at the chances over thanksgiving last year and they had just fertilized with the stuff. sweet lord there's not much worse to smell in life, besides apparently a poop filled truck, which i am likely to agree with

mommy-medic said...

YUM!!!! You haven't lived till you have pulled the driver out of an overturned chicken-gut truck. It's rancid!

Sorry about all the poo- but at leas it wasn't leaking all over your car:)