poop

My week can be summed up in one word: poop. It all culminated Wednesday when I got stuck behind a port-a-potty truck for 10 miles. Not one of the trucks that hauls the clean port-a-potties to a new location. No, I wouldn't be that lucky. I got stuck behind the port-a-potty truck with the over-sized tank on it that gets filled with the port-a-potty contents when they are full. Dis. Gus. Ting. I was gagging. Dry heaving. My eyes were watering.

It stunk so bad that I got to the point where I was wishing I was driving in a field that had just been fertilized with chicken manure. If you have never experienced chicken manure, you have no idea what you have been missing out on. That stuff is toxic and should be considered as such. Haz-mat masks and suits should be provided to people who have to be near the stuff. It's so bad it makes you feel like the mucous membranes in your sinuses are frying every time you breathe in. All of you farm girls can holla back at me because I know you know exactly what I'm talking about.

Normally there are places where I could have passed the toilet truck but on Wednesday, everyone and their half brother's cousin's dog's groomer decided to go in the opposite direction I was going, so there was no place to pass. I could have pulled over and waited it out, but the lavatory truck was going so slow that I would have caught up to it eventually so it wasn't worth it.

My entire week has been like that. Me in a confined space, surrounded by crap. If you were to add a lot of snot to the tank o' poo, then you would get a really accurate look into my week. We are a walking cesspool around here. Between the 3 of us, we have 4 ear infections (W and I both have 2), a sinus infection (me), 3 disgustingly goopy eyes (W and CB), 1 super sexy raspy voice (me), 4 lungs that are rattling (W and CB) and gallons of snot production. It's so gross. Thankfully, none of us are contagious because all of this has been brought on by allergies, but we are extremely attractive.