Tuesday, September 25, 2007

well, ok then.

Last night I was playing with CB on the floor and W was messing around at the computer desk. He's figured out that he can open 99 internet windows by pressing buttons and that is too much fun not to do at least 6 times a day. Even better is the reaction he gets from his mother as she spends a total of 5 minutes trying to close all of the windows out. Really, the only thing more fun is when he manages to open Outlook Express and send emails. I don't even know how to do that! It just reminds me of the time that he typed in some super secret code and made my Mac type in all Greek letters. He's smarter than the Mac Geniuses, I'm sure.

Anyway, he was up to no good, but at least he wasn't stealing his sister's toys or crashing his trucks into her head. But he got quiet and then took off running. That's the number one indicator that he's being naughty. I started to chase him down when he stopped and slowly turned his head to look at me. He keeps his eyes focused in one place when he does this, so he looks freaky like the kid that always colors in a scary movie (have you ever noticed that the freaky kids are always coloring?) but I can't help but laugh. Then he took off running again and that's when I noticed that he had ganked the fork I used for dinner and so lazily left out. So he was running around with a fork, and that, people, is why I am Mother of the Year.

I asked him to stop running with the fork and that TOTALLY worked. NOT! So then I told him to go put the fork away, meaning, put it on the counter. But no, he's so smart and so literal that putting it away means putting it back where it came from. But instead of putting it back on the desk, he went straight to the silverware drawer, knowing exactly which drawer the silverware magically appears from, which surprises me because he's not tall enough to actually see what is in the drawer, opened it, and put the fork "away".

This scares the bad words out of me for 2 reasons: 1) He is way too smart for my own good and knows way too many things I don't think he knows and 2) I don't know how many times he's done this before so I don't know if we've been eating off of clean forks and spoons or dirty ones. Now I will have to check each and every utensil before we use it so I'm not eating off the dirty fork he launched behind the radiator one day after I told him he could not dip his chicken nuggets into his juice. Who knows if he found it and put it "away" because goodness knows I haven't retrieved it from behind the radiator. I guess I should go check to see if it's still there... If you're ever invited to my house for dinner, you might want to bring your own silverware. Don't worry, I won't be offended.


Anonymous said...

Great story! Could picture it all.
When did you start writing fiction? WHAT??!!! You mean this is only a glimpse into a day in the life of JGCB and her brilliant babies?

Midwest Miscellany said...

But you can totally dunk chicken nuggets in juice. Ask Kate. You can also totally dunk them in milk. Milk, it's not just for dunking cookies, try meat next time!

Andrea said...

funny stuff, as usual. glad to see a new post today :)