Tuesday, September 18, 2007

jump! jump!

W had taken a particular liking to jumping all over my furniture in the past months and it was driving me crazy because our floors are cement with a thin layer of "carpet" over them and I was scared he was going to bounce off the couch and onto his head. A friend of mine suggested I get him a trampoline with handles for him to use in the living room instead. Genius!

After searching high and low for the perfect one (and for one that could actually be shipped to us for less than the actual product cost) I decided to go with this one. I called my parents and told them they had just bought W his birthday present, with their credit card, of course. I even got free shipping!

The thing finally got here last week and I made my friend J put it together. After about an hour, she had the frame put together with lots of "help" from W. Then she got to the part where you are supposed to weave the bungee through the mat and secure it to the frame. We were both baffled by the instruction sheet because it didn't make any sense. So we took a dinner break and decided to get back to it later. I pondered the instructions for awhile and figured out how to do it so I got to work. 2 hours later, I was still trying to thread the stupid bungee. This was not weak woman's work. This was scary body building woman or man's work. I have zero upper body strength. I can't even do a push up and forget a pull up. I would die.

To thread this thing around the frame, I had to literally sit against the couch, put my feet on the frame and pull with all my body weight. I finally got the thing threaded and then I had to secure the 2 ends together and even the bungee out so the mat was in the center of the frame. That turned out to be a 2, sometimes 3, person job. Meanwhile, W was trying so desperately to Jump! Jump! but he couldn't because he surely would have gotten his entire leg caught up in the bungee and we would have ended up in the ER. So we bribed him with candy and cookies and cars while we ever so slowly evened the dumb butt thing out. Finally, we got it. He was so excited to Jump! Jump! and he got on and bounced with all his might. That kid can get some air! Who says white men can't jump?

But there was a problem. There was too much tension from the bungee on one side of the frame, so the frame was uneven, making it come off the ground when he jumped. Real safe. So I made him go to bed (mean mommy) so I could fix the thing. I had visions of him jumping and being thrown into the TV if I didn't fix it. After pulling the entire bungee out, I re-threaded the dumb butt thing. Thankfully it went faster this time because I knew what I was doing... or so I thought. We all got the bungee ends connected again and stood back to admire the work that had made my hands raw and almost bleeding. And I'm not being overly dramatic here. They were really raw and almost bleeding from pulling on the bungee so much. It was all for nothing though because the trampoline was exactly how it was before.

So now I have to re-thread the thing again, before he catapults himself into a wall. This time, I think I need to draw flow charts and diagrams before I get to work to figure out the exact formula to making this thing look like it does in the picture; actually even and all 4 legs touching the ground at once. I have never taken physics, so I'm not entirely sure as to what I'm doing. Honestly, a stupid toy for kids should not require a physics degree to put together, but maybe my expectations are too high? I don't have much hope for this. I should just buy him a football helmet and call it good.

4 comments:

Francis Neville said...

It has a PURPLE finish??????

Leah said...

The Lillian Vernon people are claiming easy assembly. I think you need to have a word or two with them.

JoAnna said...

I wish it was purple. This thing is see it from space lime green. I guess it makes it hard to trip over in the middle of the night.

JoAnna said...

Oh, I'll be speaking to them for sure ;)