Saturday, August 9, 2008

the obvious

Yesterday I went to have my teeth cleaned. Some may be surprised I will willingly go back into the dentist chair after the fiasco that was the root canal, but cleanings don't bother me. And they are free so I say, why not? When I pulled into the parking lot, this big SUV cut me off and started racing me for a parking spot. Funny thing was there were 3 spots left, all next to each other. I guess she wanted to ensure that she didn't have to walk 3 extra steps to the office. It can be so excruciating to walk that much further. I blew it off, whatever. There was a good song on the radio so I was rocking out and didn't really care.

I parked my car and got out, but the SUV lady was still in her car, talking to herself. Since CA passed this hands free law, everyone is constantly talking to themselves, or at least looks like they are talking to themselves but really they are talking into their bluetooths. My problem is that I'm so narcissistic that I think everyone is talking to me so I'm always getting defensive when someone comes up behind me in the grocery store or parking lot and starts talking to me for no reason. Then it takes me about 30 seconds to realize that they aren't talking to me and then I get all offended. It's really become a big issue and I'm trying hard to work through it.

Anyway, I walked into the dentist office behind 2 other people and stood by the door as they signed in at the counter. I'm all for that HIPPA crap so I give some respect by standing as far away as possible. While I was waiting, the SUV lady finally walked in and stood next to me. Then she proceeded to walk to the counter and sign in after the 2 in front of me were done. Now, if you know me, you know that I don't take this kind of thing lightly, especially these days. My time is precious and I was waiting patiently for my turn and this chick cut? Oh heck no! So I started half way laughing with the undertone of "what the heck you stupid bimbo?!" and waited my turn AGAIN as she singed in.

When I finally got up to the counter the receptionist asked me how I was doing and I (I guess a little loudly) told her that I was apparently invisible because everyone just seems to cut me off for no good reason. She kind of laughed and said "Yeah, I saw that...", but you know she was thinking, "Please, please don't make me jump over this counter to keep you from kicking her in the face!" The woman who cut in front of me piped up from her chair and said "I didn't see you standing there." Really? REALLY?! I don't know what your super power is lady, but you wanna know what mine is? I can see right through BS. No, I am so serious! It's true. I know it can be hard to believe, and many don't believe it's possible, but I really can see right through bull crap.

I am 5 foot 10 in flats and that day I was about 6 foot 2 because my hair was piled on top of my head in some kind of attempt at the "I just rolled out of bed" look even though it took me about 30 minutes and 17 tries to get it just right. I was carrying a giraffe print bag that could fit a small child in it. I was wearing bright blue! I was standing about 2 feet from the entry way, directly in front of the door, when she walked in. There's no way she could have missed me. But, since she missed seeing me in the parking lot and as a result cut me off, and missed seeing me in the line to sing in and as a result cut in front of me, I politely suggested that she go see an optometrist instead of the dentist because clearly, her eyes were in more need of care than her teeth.

Shockingly, or not, I didn't have to wait to get into the room to have my teeth cleaned. They called me back less than 5 seconds after I sat down to wait. After I sat down, the hygienist, who looked like he was about 3 years younger than me, told me he needed to take my blood pressure because, "per standard procedure now, we won't work on you if your blood pressure is too high." Um, who the heck determines what is "too high" and are you even qualified to take my blood pressure? Do you even know how to do it, correctly? I pretty much told him that he could kiss it and that he was going to clean my teeth whether my blood pressure was 100/50 or 200/150. I didn't arrange for childcare drag my lazy butt all the way into town only to be told they wouldn't work on me because my blood pressure was too high. That is discrimination.

He thought I was kidding. I don't think anyone had informed him of the scene I had just made 3 minutes prior. But, he made a good choice and worked on my teeth, making them nice and shiny, and even gave me the chocolate flavored tooth polish instead of the mint one so I didn't throw up all over him. Then he told me that "just for fun" we should take my blood pressure. BS, again. I knew he would get busted if he didn't take it at least once and chart it and since he was new, and I didn't feel like getting anyone fired, I obliged. 158/110. My high end of normal is 110/70. He was like, "oh, most people have higher blood pressure when they go to the dentist". Yeah, not me. Not this time at least. After what happen last time, this was nothing and certainly not something to get worked up about.

I'm stressed. Sooooooooooo so so stressed out. Could this be why I feel like my heart is beating in my forehead most of the time and why I can see my pulse pumping when I look at my wrist? Perhaps. Maybe I should consult a physician? Probably. Am I going to? Not a chance. I don't have time. There's too much to do and not enough time to do it. I have got to prioritize and get organized and pull myself together. This is out of control.


clanelder said...

Breathe, Jo, Breathe! And remember how loved you are. Oh, and stay away from the dentist for a while, too!

mommy-medic said...

That would have been the perfect time, for the "No, excuse ME" line. The audacity of some people.
You are certainly more brave than myself. i will gladly don 70 lbs of gear and go into a burning building, but in order for me to voluntarily sit in a dentist's chair, I have to be drunk or dying. Nuh uh, no way.