moron

So a few days ago I was Christmas shopping (blah) and I encountered a first rate moron. This chick was a sales person at one of those stores that encourages their employees to accost you as soon as you walk in the door and continue to follow you around asking you if you need anything? are you finding everything ok? can I help you find something? are you sure you don't need anything? are you shopping for yourself? do you need ideas for a gift for someone? are you sure I can't find something for you? and on and on and on until you either politely tell them to back the heck off or deck them... whatever comes first. Dude, I know your job sucks and you have to make your sales but if you were less annoying, I'd be more likely to buy something.

So she's following me around and I was holding the baby and the baby was sucking on my key chain which says the field my husband works in all over it. Because she was genuinely interested, scratch that, because she wanted to kiss my butt so I bought something from her, she asked me about the key chain and I told her my husband was in the Army. And she says something like Oh, I had no idea that there was an Army base around here and I was like, well, there isn't an Army POST around here and we don't even live here. And she was like, what are you doing here and I was all, I'm here because my husband is deployed right now and I don't want to spend the friggin holidays alone.

So she gets this sad look on her face but not because she feels sad for me, more because I have pulled the trump card and she knows that she can't top that one and she's totally confused about what to say next. So she goes, Oh! I TOTALLY know how you feel and I was like, really? Your husband served in the war? And she was all, well, no. This one time, like 2 years ago, he went on a 3 day camping trip with his buddies and it was HORRIBLE for me. I couldn't stand being away from him for those three days and I cried the whole time.

Riiiiiiiiiiight. That is TOTALLY the same as my husband being in danger every second of every day and only getting to talk to him once a week. Three days is just like being gone for FIFTEEN MONTHS and having your husband miss 2 of your son's 3 birthdays, your daughter's first Christmas, her first birthday and all of her "firsts" milestones. In those three days, did you have to make life changing decisions that will determine the course of the rest of your life over email? Did you have to explain to your son that daddy can't hold him through the phone? Did you have to deal people being stupid and telling you they know exactly what you are going through, even if they CLEARLY do not have any kind of clue what you are going trough? I didn't think so, so sit down and SHUT UP!

Unless your husband, the father of your children, the love of your life and your best friend has put on that uniform and said goodbye to his 2 screaming children and crying wife and watched them drive away knowing full well he might not ever see them again and knowing that if he did get to see them again, it wouldn't be for at least 8 months, you cannot say you understand how I feel. Unless your heart jumps every time there is an unexpected knock at the door or you get that sinking feeling every time you see a strange car driving down the road towards your house or you freak out when you see a strange number on the caller ID because any one of these things could be delivering the worst news possible, you couldn't possibly know what I'm going through or feeling.

And, by the way, you thinking you know JUST what I am going through is incredibly insulting to the sacrifice we are making for YOU and makes YOU look like the world's biggest moron so do yourself a favor and keep quiet. MORON!