why "mommy and me" can bite me.

It's no secret that I don't do mom's groups and other things of that nature. It isn't because I'm a recluse or anti social, most of the time, it's just that I don't have the patience or energy to deal with the other moms. I'm know some moms are great and live in reality, but the few who aren't really get to me.

I can't deal with the sense of entitlement, lack of perspective and general BS that those few present. And you know you know the BS type: the ones who somehow manage to wake up early and get dressed, have perfect hair and makeup, make their kids a full hot breakfast from scratch, do the school run, spend an hour at the gym, come home clean their house from top to bottom while managing the responsibilities of being the PTA president and church Bible study leader, have a martini lunch with their gal pals, go to playgroup, spend lots of floor and play time with their baby, wash, dry, iron and fold the laundry, pick the big kids up from school, do arts and crafts time with the kids, do their science fair project for them, make 500 cupcakes complete with gum paste animals for the school bake sale, make a wholesome and organic dinner, clean the kitchen, bathe the kids, knit a sweater for their friend's new baby, be a good wife and "spend time" with her husband, set everything out and make lunches for the next day and still get a full night's sleep, only to wake up and repeat it all again. Yeah, them. There's no way they do all of that. None. I'm not buying it. I think they only say it to make themselves feel better and to make the rest of us little people feel bad about letting our kids watch DVDs and feeding them fast food every once in awhile. And if they do manage to do it all, I'd like to know exactly how and if they are popping their kids Ritalin or not.

I also can't deal with moms who refuse to control their kids and I really can't deal with the moms who think their kids are perfect and can do no wrong and refuse to implement any type of consequence. Honestly, those are the worst behaved kids of the bunch. Am I saying my kids are perfect? No. Absolutely not, of course they have their moments and some days they have quite a few of them. But I make darn sure that I am raising polite and respectful kids who know that there are consequences for their actions. I am raising them to know right from wrong and to be kind to those around them. They know they are not entitled to anything and if they want something, they aren't going to get it, just because they want it. They are quickly learning they are going to have to wait for it and/or earn it because that is how the real world works. And there seems to be a serious lack of this in the rest of society.

Case in point, story time today at the book store. Allow me to paint the picture:

14 kids, ages 7 months to 5 years. Half the kids had attentive parents and were sitting quietly, listening to the stories being read. The other half had parents who didn't give a tiny little rat's butt about what was going on and their kids were climbing and running all over the place, getting in everyone's way and making it so no one could see or hear. One kid even knocked the book out of the reader's hands. One mother was drinking her second latte and reading a magazine. One father was playing games on his cell phone while his wife chatted with her friend. Another was busy doing a game book and the other was practically asleep. And all but 1 of these parents had kids age 2 and under. Why you would not pay attention to your child who is less than 2 years old is beyond me. Am I being judgmental? Quite possibly, but I'm just stating the facts... just setting the scene...

When we got to the book store, there were quite a few kids playing at the train table. W and CB wanted to play but I told them we would wait until the little kids had left. We waited, did story time, and then went back to the train table while all of the other kids were still in the story area. W got the train he wanted to play with, Toby, and put it in line with all of the other trains. Keep in mind, there weren't any other kids around. Within minutes, one of the other kids came over and plopped down right next to W. And when I say next to him, I mean the kid literally sat on W's shoes. This kid was probably a little older than 2, and he was one of the kids who had ruined the story time earlier. The kid wasn't interested in playing with the trains, but was playing with the stuff on the side of the table. Then he suddenly decided he wanted to play with Toby, and he grabbed it from W's train, while W was playing with it, and ran off with it. This, of course, upset W and he voiced his concern that this kid had just jacked his train. And before I could say anything, the kids mother looked at W and said, "Well, you have all of the train cars, there's no reason YOU should have all of the trains, if he wants that one, he can play with it".

Um, what?! Oh no you didn't just reprimand my kid while your kid just jacked something my kid was playing with, without asking. I tried to distract W and explain that we needed to share and blah blah blah. Keep in mind, there was no one else around before this kid came over and the kid wasn't playing with the trains before so of course W had all of the train cars. Yes, the kid is 2, he probably doesn't know the "rules" but his mom sure does. The kid should have asked, or SHE should have asked W if the kid could play with it. If W had known the kid wanted to play with the trains, he would have shared. He's cool like that.

Almost immediately, the kid lost interest in the train car. The mom took the train car from the kid and just held it. And kept holding it. I finally asked her if W could play with the car because her kid wasn't and she set it down. W said thank you. Then he went to rearrange the train cars he was playing with (which was only half of them because he had put some aside for other kids to play with) and as he was picking up Toby, the mother scooped in and GRABBED IT FROM HIS HANDS, saying that her kid wanted to play with it.

OH. NO. YOU. DIDN'T. Someone hold my earrings and call for an ambulance because this chick is gonna need one in about 34 seconds. Seriously?? SERIOUSLY?! You are going to take back the toy you just put down so your kid can play with it, and just stand there holding it, when your kid isn't even nearby or wanting to play with it? And GRAB it from my kid? Literally TAKE it from his hands?!

W got really upset and so did I. He started to cry, I told him very loudly, so she could hear, that it was VERY VERY rude for someone to take the toys someone else was playing with without asking, and she was not right for doing that, hoping she was paying attention and would feel at least somewhat bad. But no, she didn't, and proceeded to defend herself to her husband and then bash my lack of parenting skills. Yes, yes, your kid is perfect and can do no wrong and you are mother of the year, I get it.

I had to leave. What was I supposed to do? It is my responsibility to set a good example for my kids and going off on her or rearranging her face wasn't exactly going to accomplish that. Besides that, I don't really want to spend our spare cash on bail money.

I wish I wouldn't have left. I wish I would have come up with SOMETHING to say to her. Anything. But I couldn't. I was too upset about what she had done. And you know that is a big deal for me because I can pretty much always come up with something to say. All I can say though is homegirl is VERY lucky I don't have any pregnancy hormones coursing through my blood and that the doctor gave me a nice little pill to help control my raging PMDD because she really would have been leaving in an ambulance and I would have been leaving in handcuffs.

So I ask you, my fellow wise and good mothers who control your kids in public and aren't self entitled jerks, what would you have done in this situation? What should I have done? Was I wrong in anyway? Am I just as responsible for the situation as she was? Did I violate some secret train table code I'm not aware of? I'd really like to know because 5 hours later, I'm still really upset about this.

And this is precisely why I don't do the group thing. I just can't handle the stress.