Sunday, September 21, 2008

to my handsome man

You are 3 now and have been for a couple of weeks. Please forgive me for not writing your birthday letter earlier. I don't want you to hold this against me in 10 years. I can hear it now, "CB got her birthday letter right after her birthday! She is your favorite, isn't she? I knew it! Why do you hate me so much?! I wish I was never born!" Yeah yeah yeah. The fact is, your birthday came and went so fast this year that I haven't even had a chance to write your letter.

Even though you had a freaking awesome birthday party, you got gypped big time this year. You are the only kid I know whose birthday was 9 hours shorter than all other birthdays out there. That's what happens when your mom plans for everyone to fly across the world just before 12 am on your birth date and you get to your destination six and a half hours before your birth date technically ends. That's just one more thing you can hold against me when you are older. I am still amazed how you did on that transatlantic flight but I really shouldn't be. You have been such a trooper this year and I am more than proud of how you have handled all of these changes and all of this transition.

Something happened to you when you turned 3 and we moved back to "your" Germany. You turned from a toddler into this little man who has a vocabulary that rivals most high schoolers (which really isn't saying much these days, but it sounds good...) and who can speak in complete paragraphs. I could do without the excessive bossy-ness though. I am the one who is supposed to be bossy and I don't like the competition. I understand that you want to do everything on your own but you need to understand that I am just not ready to let go and let you do everything on your own. It's going to take a long time for me not to see you as that tiny 5 pound baby you were just 3 years ago.

3 years ago we were experiencing the biggest struggle we have to date. Getting you to grow and eat and getting through the stress and fear of almost losing you at birth was almost more than any mother could take. You made me grow up fast and learn lessons I never thought I would have to learn and you continue to do so today. Because of you I have learned to follow my instincts and go with my gut because it has always been right, even when people tell me I'm wrong. I've always known you have needed something more from me than most kids need from their parents and while that is incredibly overwhelming and draining at times, I know that's the way it needs to be so I go with it.

Some people think that you are spoiled and that I need to be harder on you but I know you like the back of my hand and I know those things are not true. I think it bothers people that I rarely punish you but what those people don't get is that you are nearly impossible to punish because you simply don't fit the parenting book model of what children should act like and how they should respond to punishment. You just don't need that traditional "punishment" like most kids do. You have never fit into any kind of mold and for right now, I think we are doing ok. You are a good kid, despite what you may think because of how many times I ask you a day if you are being a good boy or a naughty boy and how many times a day you inform me that you are being naughty. At least you are aware... I guess.

Thank you for being a challenge and for making me work to be one step ahead of you. You keep me awake and alert and force me to be attentive which makes me a better mother because there is simply no room for slacking off. Believe me, you have caught my errors on more than one occasion and really, there's nothing better than a 2 year old making you feel like an idiot. Quite honestly it freaks me out that you can operate an iPhone better than I can. And that you can work a DVD player. And that you can work a computer. And that you know 2 languages. And that you can put together a real puzzle in less than 3 minutes.

You are perfect in every single way and responsible for so much laughter and joy that it makes me hurt to think of what life could possibly be like if you weren't in it. Thank you for being my child. I love you more than words can say and I hope that one day you realize just how special you really are to me. But seriously, could you back off on the bossy stuff? Just a little bit? Please?

5 comments:

kidletsmum said...

Awwww!!!

(fairy) Godmother said...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY WESTON! I hear ya on the bossiness Jo... sheesh!

clanelder said...

Three is so big and smart and wonderful! Thank you for sharing your letter to your and M's most precious little man.

Jenn said...

Happy Birthday, Weston!! I sure hope next year you get to celebrate with your daddy. I'm glad you all made it back safely - wish I was closer.

Margaret said...

Aww!! What a smart little boy he is! That was so sweet! I hope W had a happy happy birthday!!