pseudo-zen

A few days ago I went to the store to pick up some razors. I hate shopping for razors. It's stressful. There are so many kinds... with lotion strips or without? Do I want 2 blades or 4? Or, WAIT!! Do I need the 5 blade? Holy crap, they make a 6 blade razor now? Seriously? If I had that much hair on my legs that I needed SIX blades, I'm going to be waxing, thanks. And why are they so expensive? 10 bucks for a starter kit and then 16 bucks for 4 replacement heads? No thank you.  I'll take my double blade, $4 for 6, cheap walmart brand razors. But those give me razor burn so I really do need to spend the 8 bucks on the triple blades w/ lotion strips. Now, do I want aloe lotion strips or "conditioning" lotion strips?? Oh. My. Goodness. I need a drink. I'm going to close my eyes and point and then get the heck out of here. Oh dang, I didn't want those!

Honestly, I can buy a stroller or even a car faster than I can buy razors. I finally ended up picking a pack and then I looked and there was a seemingly identical pack for $3 less. More stress. What was the difference? It took me a while but then I found the answer: Scented Handles. Seriously? Scented handles? For real?  We need scented handles on our razors now? Why? Why on earth do we need scented handles on our razors? Is it to make us feel more at peace? More rested? Transport us away from the misery of shaving our legs, into a tropical paradise filled with cabana boys and pina coladas?

Is it not enough that we go on a virtual trip around the world with all of the other scented products we use in the shower? I personally start off with a shampoo that is supposed to uplift me a take me to a roadside fruit stand with the smell of summertime nectarines. Then I am taken away to Asia with my jasmine scented body soap. After that I take a fun little trip back to the produce stand with my "energizing citrus" shave gel, where at the same time, if I was using said scented handled razors, I would also be taken to the tropical shores of Hawaii with it's "fun, fresh scented handle" and THEN I get out of the shower, head on over to Mexico via my coconut and lime lotion... all while in a room already scented with a candle that is supposed to "ground me" with lavender and chamomile. And that's not to mention the 3 hair products, face soap, moisturizer, and deodorant that I have yet to use...

I guess I didn't realize I needed to get my passport and pop some malaria pills every time I stepped in the shower. So, not only do I get out of the shower smelling like a fruit salad with a hint of  lime, now I also need a nap from the jet lag AND I'm going to have to pop a pill for the raging headache I have from all of the "aromatherapy", which is going to transport me somewhere else entirely, if you know what I mean. It's no wonder I'm all kinds of jacked up. It's no wonder all of us are all kinds of jacked up.

I can't help but wonder what the point is  of all of this "aromatherapy"? The only thing that "energizes" me are a good cup of coffee or a hard workout. I'm not more grounded, I'm not more at peace and I certainly don't look like those chicks in all of the commercials advertising this crap.  A handle on a razor or a bottle of shampoo isn't going to fix our problems.

Yes, it's harmless "fun" and smelling good is a definite plus. So what's the problem with something like scented handles on razors? I just don't see the point. Are we on such a quest to find a happy place that we actually buy into this? I think it's a gimmick, a tale of consumerism and waste, an annoyance and just one more thing thrown in your face, saying that you NEED this in order to have a better life. No people, no. Having a better life begins on the inside. No bottle of lotion is going to help you. A bottle of pills though...? Maybe.

And that has been "deep thoughts by Joanna". Tune in next week for, "why must children's toys be SO FREAKING LOUD?! and what it says about America today".